*Jerome-K-Moore

With this online art community, we have a unique opportunity to connect with our kindred. We must avail ourselves of this experience, for it may never come again.

Back from San Diego Comic Con. I'm drained, though I expect it's mostly attributable to the summer heat, and unusual humidity. I hadn't planned to do much while there, and it was a return, of sorts, after an absence of a couple years. It used to be that this titan of all conventions would overwhelm me, simultaneously kicking me in the ass as well as inspiring me. I'd return home to L.A. with crackling energy, and ideas virtually bursting from my buzzing brain. Perhaps I'm getting old and jaded, but somehow I didn't feel the same charge and epiphanies. San Diego Con has become a jumbled mass of overly bloated commercialism and multi-media, choked by Hollywood pimps, manga/anime, tech, videogames, and just TOO much-- sell, sell, sell. As it's now touted, it has become more a 'celebration of Pop Art,' rather than a comic book convention. And sadly, the event seems to be trampling its own roots.

Nevertheless, I did manage to recapture some small measure of the old joy there, among my brethren. It's still there, beneath the glamour and hucksterism. The heart of the venerable industry I love does still beat if you listen hard enough amid the clamor. I know what to look for now, to find what once was lost. The joy remains with those earnest creators putting true love in their work, and openly sharing it with others. Much of the pall generated by Image Comics' upheaval over a decade ago has dissipated. There are undeniable vestiges hanging like constricting tendrils throughout the industry, but some of the mercenary greed has given way to coexistence with more honest creativity again, and wide-eyed exuberance among a new faithful. It IS definitely a new playground... a new battlefield... far more crowded than I would like. But I know now that I can stand tall in the melee if I choose to.

And I choose to. I begin to feel the old fire. Talk is now done. Time for deeds. A rumbling has begun in me, and for me. It's reminiscent of the former flame. But it's also something different. I feel like Gandalf The White's description of the Ent's Awakening from "Lord of the Rings." I am Rip Van Winkle, roused at last from a death-like slumber. A large portion of this rumbling comes from inspiration. And the rest comes from anger... anger at myself, for wallowing in lethargic entropy for far too long, submerged deep in a morass of wilted confidence. My power has lain dormant, my energy merely latent. Enough is enough. My career broke out very, very early, and then I became afraid of the lofty expectations, including my own. But all along the winding way, I found friends who bolstered my flagging will, family, peers, and employers alike. They never relented even though I essentially ignored them, taking their praise for idle flattery.

I hear them now. The drone has finally become a clear ringing. A call. A summoning. It's not an urge to seek validation through pursuit of acclaim or financial success, a hollow endeavor. These things should always be by-products of hard honest work... rewards unlooked for, and kept in their proper perspective and place. This urging is pure in form, to attain a realization I was always meant to achieve entirely for myself... a manifestation of my love in illustration, and storytelling art.

I spent my brief time in San Diego with a few of my good friends. I didn't get to do even a fraction of what I may have desired, but I will return. I felt a warm welcome from old and new acquaintances. We laughed, and shared a communing that is unique to creative people. I WILL say that I wish there was some way to set up a meet-and-greet for Deviants there. On one day of the convention, a specific time could be arranged in one of the smaller exhibit halls so any interested members could finally meet each other face-to-face, and network or socialize. I think it would also be cool for DA to set up a booth at the con featuring the work of participating members whose work would help promote the site, as well as possibly generate professional opportunities for various Deviants. Just a nascent thought in need of refinement. Any comments or suggestions? Pass on the wisdom, peeps.

So, I'm back home again. It's only now, as I reflect, that I understand that I have been affected after all. Aside from anger, my other great impetus has ever been my competitiveness. These are aggressive, negative emotions that I can channel positively, fueling my engine and forward momentum. Unfortunately, they can also hamstring an insecure mind, being daunted by self-doubt. Then the negativity festers, and entropy takes hold. I permitted myself the fear of failure, when in fact, I am already a success, as are we all when we follow our dreams. And so I shake the cobwebs from my brain, and prepare to get to my feet. But as I stare back now at my competitors, with a new determination, I also see a smile and the outstretched hand not of an opponent, but of a sparring partner respectful of the heavy blows I, too, can mete out.

Ring the bell.